Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
