Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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