Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
