Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
