East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sober January is a disaster.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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