yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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