Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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