my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize