I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
