We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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