just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize