is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
