I wish I could punch you in the face.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's official drugs can't kill me
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
