Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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