Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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