More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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