If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
