True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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