Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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