totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I am one with the molecules
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
