quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
