Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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