Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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