I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
