Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
