shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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