so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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