i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize