Jerry, you need to find god
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
