I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Drake has all the answers
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
