the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
