she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
