why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
