We won't sleep together?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
