Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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