I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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