Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
no more duck duck goose at the bar
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
