I looked at my own cervix.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
