I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
