he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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