I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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