clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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