It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
