went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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