i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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