Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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