Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize