saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize