i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
