Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
