I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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