So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
