you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
