standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
