I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
