I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
