Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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