good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
