I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
