ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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