One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
