butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
