That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
