It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
