Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
