Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
