he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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