I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
