his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
