it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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