Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
