I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
