Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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