So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
