but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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