I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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