You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
