so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
vagina is talking i cant
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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